Advice+to+a+Discarded+Lover

Adcock in this poem uses a very flamboyant image in this poem that carries on right through out. In this case of death she does not accept it at face value but unravels it to make an overall summary using very vivd and negative connotations and adjectives that death "... is not accidental." and that death once it has occured, whether literal or not is a process that cannot be stopped "an offensive symbol of what once lived..." as the narator see's death as also being "eaten up by self-pity. crawling with unlovable pathos." She disregards the idea of 'death' that she see's in people in the final sentence saying "Go away until your bones are clean" - Lu'isa

I got a bit confused. Is her lover dead? Or does he have some characteristic that she despises and If the lover ever wants her back he has to rid himself of that characteristic, in which she used the metaphor of death? The negative connotation throughout the poem and the repeated imagery of the 'maggots', shows her bitter feelings towards her ex. Possibly some regrets are shown in stanza 3. In the poem she is expressing her emotions about the break up and seems angry, but she is disgusted by her ex-lover. The metaphor of the bird is also important - bird's symbolise freedom from flight etc, but once the relationship ended the bird died and thus so did the freedom. Not sure what that represents though. -Izzy

This poem talks about the gruesome effect that having a lover leave will have on you. You will get such a repulsive image that makes you both pity him and be repulsed of him. It may be so much that you think of him as dead now. there are many negative connotations in this poem which describes the person that has left, and this poem is again similar to the other poems that fleur adcock writes in the sense that this makes relationships seems like theyre not worth it - David

I think the narrator is trying to show the stages after the end of a relationship. "Pity for the moment of death"may refer to the first stage when she feels sad and heartbroken but then the feelings turn to anger, shown by the rotting bird and finally she is able to heal and accept it and look back on it without bad feelings or anger "an inoffensive symbol of what lived". She is fully free and independent from her last relationship which is emphasized by the bone as the final stage as it demonstrates the recovered purity or innocence of the character. -Lorenz

The 5th and 6th stanza contains really strong and harsh words/ phrases. "I see maggots... you are eaten with self-pity... go away until your bones are clean" These really made me feel like she actually hates her ex, she doesn't care about him anymore and sees him as trash: "discarded" in the title. In a way there is a contrasting atmoshpere created in the poem where the title is "advice to a discarded lover", advice has positive connotations and does not create that much of a negative atmosphere. But the end of the poem greatly contrasts and covers any hint of positivity found in the title. In fact the whole poem turns the positive connotations of advice into a negative one. -Theon

I think that the extended metaphor for insects (more specifically maggots,) throughout the poem was an interesting way of expressing her feelings for her husband or ex-husband. The verbs she uses to describe the relationship, such as 'wriggling, munching', 'crawling' and 'creeping', all relate back to someone's reaction on finding a particularly gross bug. His 'fat, moist worm-skin' makes him revolting to touch to her and supports the idea that pity is for the early stages of the end of a relationship, at the stage she is at, she can only be revolted by his actions, as she would by an insect. The maggots/insects seem to symbolise his impurities or faults - maybe he cheated on her or has changed as a person, (has picked up some personality traits that she does not like.) Abby

This poem mirrors how one would deal with a break up. The beginning of the poem-like the beginning of a break up-questions how you would feel and is pitiful, This is representative of how you feel when you first break up with somebody; confused and sad. 'The moment of death' meaning the moment right after you break up with somebody .However as the poem furthers we then seem to follow the break up and see that the initial pity turns to deep disgust-'wriggling, munching, scavengers'. The comparison of a bug continues right to the end of the poem when in the last stanza she describes the males fingers as 'fat, moist, worm-skin'. Adcock portrays in its fullest extent how one deals with a breakup- the impulsive feeling of sadness, deep disgust, almost resolution, before you find yourself pure again-'go away until your bones are clean'. Chelsea

In this poem Adcock describes the scene of the breakup with the analagy of a dead animal. She describes something similar to the stages of grief over a relationship. At the time of the break up there is a general sadness "pity is the moment of death" but this soon turns to disguss "when decay comes". This is the stage in the break up where the two parties are repulsed by one another (or rather Fleur is repulsed by her husband). She takes a harsh view on the man returning to the relationship asking for forgiveness and tells him to "go away untill your bones are clean" i.e. they no longer have any feelings for one another and can start afresh. James

I agree completely with the statement that everyone has added which relates the decomposition of the animal to the stages of a break-up. 'pity is the moment of death', i believe that Adcock uses this phase to outline the moment when the actual break-up occurs, and the moments after. I think that she uses the time as decaying in the second stanza 'changes when decay comes' and she could refer to the 'scavengers' as the friends and family that help through the tough/decaying times. then she states the changes in the feelings of the people after a period of time, ' returning later, you will see a shape of clean bone', clean bone could refer to the changes inside the person or the cleansing of the person/s in the period of time, the 'few feathers' perhaps refers to the slightly remembered memories that 'once lived'. - Sahib

The maggots present in the dead bird adds to the disgust of the image("not only dead, not only fallen, but full of maggots"), and if the maggots were a representation of the author's partner's emotions or actions from the break up then it can be implied that these emotions or actions led to the disgust or hatred the author has over her former partner. Later the 'maggots' are mentioned again. "In you I see maggots close to the surface" shows that the author still sees the flaws or of her partner that lead to their break up or perhaps it could be anger developed because of the break up, "close to the surface" indicates the ease of her analysis. As mentioned already the author states that she will only communicate with her partner when the situation involving their break up has cooled down, the clean bones is a representation of this. -Winstan

I feel that this poem rejects many convential poetic devices, and is more simply as the title says, 'advice', which has been split into 4 line stanzas. The poem is very speech like, as if Fleur Adcock is strictly telling us off while giving us her cold feminist advice. In terms of poetic devices used in the poem, Adcock decided to tell us in stanza 4 that she chose an analogy. Nothing is hidden, this poem is to the point, and crammed full of imperatives especially near the end.. 'Do this, Don't ask me that, Go away'. If Adcock was you, SHE would take this advice, so as the reader you're probably stupid if you don't agree with her. - Jacob